Ottawa South MP Found Dead

[Ottawa] Shocking news has hit the city of Ottawa today as police tape around the home of Ottawa MP Trevor O’Neil alerted citizens that something was wrong. It was not until late last night that the police issued a statement confirming the worst: O’Neil had been found dead in his own home.

O’Neil had recently been making the news as the first-ever supernaturally-inclined politician to have a chance at getting elected to office. The previous incumbent, Charles Mulligan of the Liberals, had stepped down for personal reasons, and O’Neil was cleared to run as an independent in the by-election next month.

The police have been loathe to release information, since the investigation is ongoing, however they were willing to tell us that O’Neil’s wife of 8 years and their young daughter both escaped unharmed, and that foul play seems likely. Of course, this has sparked a flurry of rumours that the murder was politically motivated, not only because of O’Neil’s left-wing tendencies but of course because of his lizard-like skin, which he had always claimed was his only connection to the supernatural. Nonetheless, it would have been a major precedent which had many up in arms in the last few weeks.

— R. Kenneth Kale, The Ottawa Connection



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